I won't call myself a workaholic...I've never thought that work should be the biggest priority in your life. But I like to work. It gives me a sense of purpose in my day. It makes me feel like I'm contributing something worthwhile to society. I've always been a person who was going to have a great career. My priorities have shifted. My dream is to be a stay at home mom...at least mostly. I want to have a career that allows me to work part time, and mostly from home. But, not having a job right now, and not having a family to care for to fill the gap, is driving me crazy. Most of you know what happened at my last job. I was fired for the most ludicrous reason that it's almost comical. You also know that I was miserable there anyway, so it's no great loss. I might feel differently if I didn't qualify for unemployment, but as it is, I am much better off. The day I got fired happened to be my first appointment with my newest psychiatrist. From what I told him about my psychological state as a result of the job, he actually said that if I hadn't been fired he would have recommended I quit. Things were bad enough that the stress placed on me at work triggered a mixed episode followed by a never ending depression. The depression was so bad that at one point I was driving back from lunch and the thought struck me that if I was in a car accident I wouldn't have to go back to work that day. No job, and no boss, should ever make you feel this way. They don't have the right, and if they do they shouldn't be in charge. Those of you who have worked at Calfrac know exactly what, and who, I am talking about, so I won't go into that here. What the saddest part was is that I liked what I did, but it was a person that was making me miserable. A person in a position of power, so what could I do?
The problem I run into is that I need insurance. So many policies have existing condition clauses, but if you've been insured you are exempt from them. So I have to come up with the close to four hundred dollars a month for my COBRA, plus about an additional two hundred for my medications. That's not including copays for various appointments with numerous specialists. So, any job that I apply for has to either offer benefits or have a pay rate that allows me to afford the COBRA, meds, and doctor visits, on top of everything else like groceries and gas. So part time positions are pretty much out. Most places want to hire part time. In fact, I applied at Sears. I put that I was looking for a full time position and the computer selected me to take part in an interview. Yay! I show up for the interview to be told that they don't hire full time. Hello! Your system is the one that scheduled the interview! Talk about a waste of time.
Since getting fired, I have had a horrible time even getting an interview. I figure it is a direct result of my termination, since every application you fill out asks you if you have ever been discharged or asked to resign. I never had a problem getting an interview before my termination. Since then I have managed to get three interviews out of countless applications that I've filled out for every job field I could come up with...everything from applying at places I've worked before (Hello, you know I'm a great worker!), to applying at Target and Lowes. I have a second interview tomorrow, so wish me luck!
I've gone off on a tangent. My mood...typically I do better when I'm staying busy and being productive, but not at Calfrac. That was a different matter entirely. Normally when I'm bored is when I do the worst. It gives me too much time to dwell on anything negative that's going through my head. But, because I was coming from Calfrac, my mood has done nothing but improve since being fired, even though I'm sared to death that my unemployment will run out before I get another job. It's hard to believe that one dark spot on an otherwise spotless history could have so much of a negative impact on your employ-ability. I try not to dwell on it though...since I feel so much better it must have been a good thing, right? That's the attitude that I have, that it was a blessing. It has given me the chance to improve my mood, and time to work on myself. It's also been nice to get to spend so much time with Kenny on his six days off.
One good thing...if I get the job that I have the second interview for, I will still get to go on the vacation that I have planned with my best friend, plus I get two weeks of vacation a year, along with a lot of day to day flexibility, not so much in your first 13 weeks, but after that. I'll know for sure after tomorrow if it's something I can see myself doing. I'll keep you posted!
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